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| Seriously. Don't panic. |
If you know where your towel is, and are currently serenely calm, you probably read the same literature I do…namely, ridiculous but observant science fiction. These are two of the most well-known phrases from the book, “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” by late author Douglas Adams. “DON’T PANIC” was written on the cover of the often referenced, complicated-looking and very thorough Hitchhiker’s Guide (think a galaxy-wide Google/Wikipedia). Possessing a towel while traveling the galaxy implies a general togetherness and causes other travelers to assume someone so together as to have remembered their towel deserves a bit of latitude when borrowing other toiletries (not to mention its obvious practical uses). After reading this book, I philosophically wished there was a similar handbook for dealing with everyday pre-demolished Earth life situations (ok, and how to survive a Vogon poetry reading a.k.a. conference calls, government documents, etc.).*
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| The Hitchhiker's Guide Entry on Vogon poetry, 3rd worst poetry in the Galaxy. |
Then I heard two phrases that revolutionized the way I thought about life. They were: “Do not initiate or accept force,” and “keep your word.” I first heard these “Two Rules” just after ending a serious codependent relationship. I was trying to figure out what went wrong, to heal my emotional wounds, and learn how to avoid similar situations in the future. I came across a podcast series entitled, “A User’s Manual For The Human Experience” by Michael W. Dean. Intrigued (and thinking back to The Hitchhiker’s Guide), I started listening, and realized that it was what I needed to hear. These rules simplify all social rules and laws into a manageable life philosophy. True, it’s a very libertarian view of life, but I like it, adopted it and apply it to my current and future relationships.
The first rule, “Do not initiate or accept force,” applies to people and situations that create stress, chaos, drama, or actual violence in your life. It also reminds me that exerting my will on someone else is an unhealthy relationship habit. For the most part, I have rid my life of toxic people and situations. I am much more selective about the people and situations I willingly allow or invite into my life, and more recently, from whom I take advice.
I was reminded of the first rule two weekends ago when I was run out of our pool by someone’s crazy ex-girlfriend (for those who see my Facebook statuses, this is Kevin’s wackadoodle girlfriend) who showed up uninvited and immediately destroyed the peacefulness and enjoyment of my afternoon. I was also nervous about my personal safety, because she was, well, crazy, and accusing me of being a “wild woman” and “fixing my eyes” on her ex. Luckily, I had a sudden thunderstorm and the excuse of a barbecue elsewhere to give me an escape. As I was barricading myself in my house and cranking up my music for plausible deniability, I remembered that I did not and should not have to put up with “force” in my life, especially from someone else’s crazy person. Boundaries are important, even with casual acquaintances, but especially with people who tend to cause chaos and disrupt your Serenity (oh, another sci-fi reference).
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| Oh the pain!! |
In my next entry, I’ll go more into the second rule. Until then, how do you feel about sci-fi? What’s your favorite book? Your policy when dealing with wackadoodles is…? My advice? Don't panic.
*Obviously, I believe the Bible is the best source, but sometimes I want something more condensed. Vogons write notoriously, tortuously awful poetry, and take great pleasure in reading it aloud to captives.
